Nitro Anthem

Formula One teams are launching their new cars and March 29 race in Australia is beginning to approach. For fans of Formula One, the new regulations promise a season 2009 which will be full of drama. Here is a go to a language in cheek prediction for how the season will play out.

The Grand Prix of Australia

March 29 is the glorious day for the first Grand Prix of the year 29. A week before the race, Bernie Ecclestone announced his decision to move the race in Iraq, unless local authorities decide to pay 100 million pounds and call him with the title "Dark Lord". Max Mosley is heard shouting in joy. Kimi Raikkonen lost the start of the race after falling asleep in his hotel room.

The Grand Prix of Malaysia

After winning the first two races, Lewis Hamilton drives mysteriously as an amateur and finished dead last three laps behind. Peter Windsor, his PR agent, complains that the result is unfair, because Robert Kubica said Hamilton was the last race of the season and we all know what that means. Nick Heidfeld won the race, but stimulates an extra lap just to be sure since it is usually a lap down. Kimi Raikkonen loses the race after falling asleep in the bathroom. Fernando Alonso is seen to take measures cockpit of Ferrari.

The Grand Prix of Monaco

The race is a crash. Kimi Raikkonen won the pole with a lap drama. That runs from the first moment, he falls asleep in the Grand Hotel hairpin. One driver after another smashed into the back of him. Jenson Button out of the stands, jumps a scooter and wins the race in the slowest time ever recorded in the first place do to the fact that he has to carry the scooter on Michael Schumacher and lying across the track. Boss Flavio Briatore Renault protest the results, but loses when nobody can understand what he is saying.

The Grand Prix of Germany

The coronation of Sebastian Vettel, as the next great German driver is planned. To celebrate the moment, Vettel set the fastest time in the last period of waiting and then parks his car perpendicular to the previous round. The other teams in protest. Having carefully examined the situation, the stewards penalty Lewis Hamilton 10 points. Ron Dennis leaves retirement to protest and is tragically beaten to death by the Polish fans who take umbrage with his comments from 2008 about the nose of Robert Kubica. In a dramatic race, Vettel beat Heikki Kovalinen … again. Ralph Schumacher smile and says he could have done better, if only someone would give him a chance … and pay 20 million years.

The Italian Grand Prix

Kimi Raikkonen took pole and the race in total domination. Lewis Hamilton complains, is a Ferrari conspiracy. Commentators suggest that it is the fact that he was angry Tafosi Raikkonen chasing down the runway each at the foot of the way with machetes, guns and the like. Asked In this regard, after the race, Raikkonen Mumbles three times and fell asleep during the press conference. Jenson Button streaking through the conference with his trophy in Monaco.

Grand Prix of Japan

Despite the dry conditions, the Ferrari will start the race with rain tires full. Kimi Raikkonen falls asleep during the national anthem. Sebastian Vettel won the pole, but hangs on a ride, when suddenly he realizes that it is only 22 and should be out with a pint of beer. Lewis Hamilton dominated the race until suffering an unfortunate EBG [eaten by Godzilla] time. A monsoon hit and you do not see anything. Suddenly raises to reveal Bernie Ecclestone lashes Max Mosley on the section front. Chaos reigns, and although both drivers out of the race with engine failures, Ferrari is declared the winner and the McLaren is fined $ 50 million.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

The last race of the season in Abu Dhabi. Really. This is the truth and could be something unknown?

Despite the tight races in the constructor and driver championships, the long history of motor racing in Abu Dhabi comes to the fore and the stand is half full. Kimi Raikkonen says his favorite race, and immediately falls asleep in the stands.

Lewis Hamilton wins pole, but realizes that is the last race and switches readily reversed, while down the stretch mark. The resulting crash is all the more puzzling for engineers McLaren, when they realize there are reverse transmission McLaren. The ghost of Ron Dennis holds a press conference to announce created a metaphysical reverse gear in the car and is not Hamilton's fault.

Felipe Massa has said on the radio that his reign as world champion is about to begin, if you can keep a lead of 50 seconds with 10 laps to go. He mistakes "kingdom" for the "rain" and turn immediately five times. The entire field passed him and Sebastian Vettel won the race and championship. Protests Ferrari Vettel does not have enough "L" s in his name. Stewards fine Vettel and Massa, but every driver a penalty for a spin. McLaren fined $ 20 million. Massa declared winner and champion. Ron Dennis turns in his grave. Raikkonen wakes up and ask where is the bar.

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